School’s back ergo work’s back

I saw this and had to post it! This is so me!

I’m eating mostly the same food but in much smaller proportions. Where I can, I am bulking up the protein and salad or vege portion and trying to get full on those, rather than the carb.

Because school holidays are over, I am back at work today where I can weigh myself on the scales that told me I was 82kg. I’m not expecting a loss given its only been a couple of days, but naturally a little part of me is hopeful.

I’m taking a lunch with me (poached chicken and salad) and an apple for afternoon tea. I’ve taken sausages out of the freezer for tea…pretty sure they’re not the best to eat when trying to lose weight but perhaps I’ll have one, rather than two? All these little changes will add up.

Term 3, here we come!

I’m baaaaack! And I’m fat!

Wow, it’s been months since I last wrote or visited! Life has been hectic…not in any special way. Just the usual challenges we face like working almost full time, running around after two sports-mad boys, running the household etc, etc. 

In the midst of this, I have managed to put on 10kg (or 22-ish pounds for my American friends). Awesome job. It crept on while I worked hard, keeping everything else ticking along. 

Running around like this, leaves no time/energy/mental head space for diet and exercise. It’s actually the lack of mental head space, more than the other two factors. When flying out the door in the mornings, I grab a few food items from the pantry and/or fridge to eat at my desk. However, these things are never nutritional nor satisfying, so after getting the kids from school and off to that day’s sports activity, I am famished. And probably a little dehydrated too. Which leads to unhealthy snacking when we get home whilst prepping dinner.

Six months of this routine has resulted in my “fat day jeans” fitting on the snug side. True fact. After a day of wearing them, I have to undo the button when I sit down. Over half of my wardrobe no longer fits.

Tomorrow the third school term begins and I’m looking down the barrel of further weight gain. Unless I do something about it of course…

…Enter accountability. I know myself well enough to know that without accountability I don’t do so well. I’ve shared my current weight with my colleagues, and a friend and now I’m going to share it with you too. Then, my intention is to make the time to check in here and write about my progress. I’m easily discouraged so I hope I can lean on my wonderful readers to provide some support? 

Before I go on to share my current stats, I just want to say, I don’t do ‘diets’. So please don’t be sharing or giving me advice on a soup diet, juice diet or oxygen-only diet! I’m the slow and steady, sensible diet and exercise kinda weight-loss girl. 

I’m 180cm tall (5′ 9″) and weigh 82kg (180 pounds). This is the heaviest I’ve ever been. My initial aim is to lose 5kg or drop a size so I can get into my clothes again. After that, I will reassess my goal and how I feel about myself. 

Im nervous I’m going to drop the ball this term though. As I said, life is hectic and I struggle to make diet and exercise a priority. However I’m excited by the fact that, since I’m starting now, I should be looking fit for the New Zealand summer! 

My chocolate minimum becomes my maximum

Yes, another chocolate post. Sorry. But this is something I really need to work on! After observing my reaction when something is “banished” and going by past experience, (which is to not have any for like 3 nights and then eat 3 night’s worth in one sitting), I decided a moderation approach may be best. 

Here’s what I decided. I will make my minimum chocolate consumption (8 squares), my new maximum. So I cannot have more than 8 squares each night. Less is more, right? In doing this, I am still having chocolate, but I’m undoubtedly having less, because on quite a few nights in the week, I was having more than 8 squares. 

  
Last night’s treat ^ My cup of decaf coffee and my 8 squares of chocolate. Let’s hope this approach works?! My waistline, teeth and sugar levels could do with less is more!

WG

All chocoholics, please raise your hand

Ok so the subtitle to this blog says something like “a girl wanting to drink more water and less wine”. Now it should have a check mark next to it and also read “a girl wanting to eat more salad and less chocolate”. 

  
Really? I’m having to impose a ban on chocolate? Yes, it seems that way. I ate my way through 2015 – it was a painful year – but 2016 is gonna be different. And it starts tonight. 

As I sit here typing on my iPad, which is resting on my stomach/chocolate shelf, I am announcing publicly I’m easing off the brown, gooey, caramel centred loveliness that is Whittaker’s. Note I used the word ‘ban’ earlier and already I’m shifting toward an ‘easing off’. 

Sigh.

This is going to get ugly.

WG

First game of field hockey

Soooooo…wow…I’m not sure what to say!

My first game of field hockey was…fun, funny, and…tough!

I need to work on, well, everything lol. Having never played before, I need to learn how to hold the stick better, get lower, work on explosive speed and change of direction!

This is my first training task:

  
Anyone else have any tips for me??

5k race & 1st ever hockey practice

Yesterday I ran 5k, and of course yesterday was the day I was dropped a hay fever bomb. Sigh. It was horrible but I made it in 36 minutes. At least I put myself out there and did it. As a wise friend said, use it as a benchmark. 

  
In the afternoon, I then had my first ever hockey practice! It looks scary as a spectator but it’s not as scary when you’re in it. It was fun! Though of course I fell 😂

  
What a great active day! 

Today the kids go back to school for the final term of the year. While it’ll be nice to get some alone time, I do love the school holidays! This morning I am off to my first ever public yoga class, I’ve only ever done yoga in the privacy of my own home. Humiliation time lol!

WG

Constantly nit picked

I’m exhausted. Not the kind from over-doing life, or working too hard. No, I mean the emotional type of exhaustion. The crap with the family conflict just doesn’t end. Our lives were so tightly intertwined it’s bloody difficult and taking so bloody long unpicking it. And I’m fed up of thinking about it. Something happens nearly every day that will remind me about it and then my brain starts ticking over what’s happened and things I would love to say.

And my inner abuser will pipe up her wee voice and start judging me, criticising me, saying things to get me doubting myself. She’s relentless and I wish I could shut her up. But she’s always been there, as long as I can remember. And no amount of effort to change her way of thinking has worked. Sometimes I’m onto her really fast and shut her down before she really gets going. But 90% of my time I’m doing mundane tasks (housewife/mother/admin jobs) and that’s when she seems to thrive. 

When I’m feeling this drained emotionally, it seeps like wispy black smoke into other areas of my life. Like making good, healthy food choices for energy. Like going to bed early and getting good, long sleep. Like keeping up with my yoga and running. I’m losing a grip on the focus and desire to take care of myself and that’s not good. Somehow I need to summon up the motivation to fight and get me back…

WG

Saturday is sports day

 Today is an amazing Autumnal day. The sun is shining, the harbour is a sparkly blue and still. Being a Saturday morning, our family is up and out very early for our kids’ sports. Our 9 year old plays soccer at 9am and our 5 year old plays rugby (his first ever season) at 9:30. A lot has to happen in a short period of time on a Saturday morning and as I’m typing this, I’m thinking to myself, “How the fuck did I do this hungover?” The truth is, last season when I was drinking, I didn’t always do it. There were a lot of mornings I stayed in bed instead. Just another black mark in the crap parent column. 

My husband is co-coach of our son’s soccer team so was with them this morning, which meant I was taking Harry to rugby. He plays in a team with his cousin. My SIL’s son. The SIL I’m having all this trouble with. I was all angsty about it, but we were first to arrive which made it easier somehow. It was difficult to start with but I gave myself a mental pep talk about focusing on Harry’s game and being present for him. And it worked. I stood by myself for the majority until my husband and soccer son arrived for the last 5 minutes. In that time Harry scored another try and unlike the previous two, I had someone beside me to celebrate with. My husband is my rock, on so many levels.

Walking back to the car, I decided enough with the feeling angsty shit. It’s a gorgeous day, I’m gonna go for a run. And so I did. The first time in, I don’t know, maybe 2, 3 maybe even 4 weeks. It felt really good, mentally to be out there. It was good for my heart, literally of course but mostly spiritually. I haven’t been able to write a blog entry all week, despite dropping in and wanting to, but then leaving after ‘liking’ and commenting on others. Today’s run cleared my head. And my heart.
WG

Yoga progress check in

So, it’s a little embarrassing to admit but I cannot touch my toes. I have very tight hips, IT band, hamstrings, you name it, I’m tight! Not only can I not touch my toes, but when I sit on the floor, I can’t even sit up straight with my legs straight out in front of me, let alone split wide. Not without losing the integrity of a long, straight back anyways. I always end up curving, hunched, and collapsed. So in classes, I get to sit on a block or book while everyone else in the class has no issue with this at all. It’s been pretty frustrating.

It occurred to me today that you may think I’m already bendy, because only bendy people do Yoga, right? Wrong. I do Yoga and as you now know, I am NOT bendy. But look at this progress photo after two weeks of doing Yoga every day. That’s a lot of gain for a little daily effort, I reckon! I wonder, can I touch my toes on Day 30?

  

Formal Apology: I’m sorry for the lack of attention to my toenails. I promise to pretty them up for a Day 30 photo. 

WG

Lost for words

Day 33.

I’ve completed day 9 of the 30-day yoga challenge. It was difficult today, it was very ‘leggy’ and since I’ve also been for a run my legs were pretty tired and shaky. Here’s the link to day 9. http://youtu.be/1erFYeJo_r4 Feel free to jump in. There’s lots of nice deep breathing involved, slowing down the mind and body.

UPDATE (late afternoon) 

Apologies, I was interrupted and didn’t come back to writing this until hours later. School holidays, you see. 😉

I’m feeling a bit low. Or maybe I’m just feeling tired. I’ve done a fair bit of housework. And I’ve also been culling the children’s books so we can pass on the ones my youngest is getting too old for. I’ve always de cluttered frequently. I hold onto a few nostalgic bits but generally if we aren’t using it and someone else can, we give things away. 

Hubby is away for work for the night. This used to mean I’d have a bottle of wine at the ready to drink while watching my shows. No judging eyes watching me as I drank my way through the bottle. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t judging me, but you know, it was nice being on my own.

Oh blog, this just isn’t working for me today. I can’t think of anything interesting to write. I’ll check in with you again soon.