Today is an amazing Autumnal day. The sun is shining, the harbour is a sparkly blue and still. Being a Saturday morning, our family is up and out very early for our kids’ sports. Our 9 year old plays soccer at 9am and our 5 year old plays rugby (his first ever season) at 9:30. A lot has to happen in a short period of time on a Saturday morning and as I’m typing this, I’m thinking to myself, “How the fuck did I do this hungover?” The truth is, last season when I was drinking, I didn’t always do it. There were a lot of mornings I stayed in bed instead. Just another black mark in the crap parent column.
My husband is co-coach of our son’s soccer team so was with them this morning, which meant I was taking Harry to rugby. He plays in a team with his cousin. My SIL’s son. The SIL I’m having all this trouble with. I was all angsty about it, but we were first to arrive which made it easier somehow. It was difficult to start with but I gave myself a mental pep talk about focusing on Harry’s game and being present for him. And it worked. I stood by myself for the majority until my husband and soccer son arrived for the last 5 minutes. In that time Harry scored another try and unlike the previous two, I had someone beside me to celebrate with. My husband is my rock, on so many levels.
Walking back to the car, I decided enough with the feeling angsty shit. It’s a gorgeous day, I’m gonna go for a run. And so I did. The first time in, I don’t know, maybe 2, 3 maybe even 4 weeks. It felt really good, mentally to be out there. It was good for my heart, literally of course but mostly spiritually. I haven’t been able to write a blog entry all week, despite dropping in and wanting to, but then leaving after ‘liking’ and commenting on others. Today’s run cleared my head. And my heart.