Pondering…

Our thoughts become our feelings. Our feelings become our actions. Our actions create our reality.

It’s time I changed my thoughts.

I’m ready to set goals!

  
In my past life, I was a life coach. I know all there is to know about goal setting. Everything I set out to achieve, I achieve. Not really surprisingly the last 9 months or so, I’ve just been drifting. Okay I have had a lot of private stuff hitting the proverbial, but now that it is becoming easier to handle, I’m ready to set some goals…✔️

…or so I thought until I sat down with pen and paper and a blank mind!! I can’t think of anything that gets me inspired or excited which has left me feeling concerned about my lack of feelings (maybe my medication needs dialling down?!) 😐

I’ve just returned from my son’s school camp where I had an absolute blast doing all the activities I pretty much haven’t done since my own school camp (ahem, 28 years ago). We went abseiling, rock climbing, kayaking, water sliding and flying foxing. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long, long time and I left camp physically wasted but so alive. The sparkle had returned to my eyes, I’m sure of it. I haven’t felt alive like that since my back-packing days where I would decide to fly off to Canada or Africa or Australia, on a whim.

My question is, dear readers, “What are your goals?” I would love to start a conversation around this and perhaps we can inspire one another?!

WG

an unwanted but perfected skill

  
Boom!

Since I’ve knocked alcohol on the head, I’ve been reflecting on the reasons WHY I drank booze in the first place. I’ve learned a lot about myself and now know the core reason, underpinning everything, is that I was an emotional drinker. I’m beginning to turn my attention to the relationship I have with food because I’m getting frustrated over-eating. I’m experiencing the same negative side affects from binge-eating that I experienced after binge-drinking – the self loathing, regret, guilt etc. 

It always comes down to escape. I want to get away from reality for a while. I set myself up on the couch, in front of terrible telly, with either chocolate or cheese and crackers and ‘check out’ for a while. I don’t have any particular trauma to escape from. I’m a fairly normal person, a bit of a deep thinker, but I’ve never been physically or sexually abused or experienced something nasty enough to justify the need for escape.

I’m not sure what to write next, because I don’t have the answers. I know the why (I over-drank and over-eat) but what’s the why behind wanting to escape? Maybe it’s natural? Maybe everyone wants to check out of reality for a while? I feel like if I know the deeper why, then I can stop over-eating. But then I managed to stop drinking alcohol relatively easy, so why can’t I release my grip on food so easily? 

There is more work to be done here. Forever learning. 😀

WG