School’s back ergo work’s back

I saw this and had to post it! This is so me!

I’m eating mostly the same food but in much smaller proportions. Where I can, I am bulking up the protein and salad or vege portion and trying to get full on those, rather than the carb.

Because school holidays are over, I am back at work today where I can weigh myself on the scales that told me I was 82kg. I’m not expecting a loss given its only been a couple of days, but naturally a little part of me is hopeful.

I’m taking a lunch with me (poached chicken and salad) and an apple for afternoon tea. I’ve taken sausages out of the freezer for tea…pretty sure they’re not the best to eat when trying to lose weight but perhaps I’ll have one, rather than two? All these little changes will add up.

Term 3, here we come!


I’m baaaaack! And I’m fat!

Wow, it’s been months since I last wrote or visited! Life has been hectic…not in any special way. Just the usual challenges we face like working almost full time, running around after two sports-mad boys, running the household etc, etc. 

In the midst of this, I have managed to put on 10kg (or 22-ish pounds for my American friends). Awesome job. It crept on while I worked hard, keeping everything else ticking along. 

Running around like this, leaves no time/energy/mental head space for diet and exercise. It’s actually the lack of mental head space, more than the other two factors. When flying out the door in the mornings, I grab a few food items from the pantry and/or fridge to eat at my desk. However, these things are never nutritional nor satisfying, so after getting the kids from school and off to that day’s sports activity, I am famished. And probably a little dehydrated too. Which leads to unhealthy snacking when we get home whilst prepping dinner.

Six months of this routine has resulted in my “fat day jeans” fitting on the snug side. True fact. After a day of wearing them, I have to undo the button when I sit down. Over half of my wardrobe no longer fits.

Tomorrow the third school term begins and I’m looking down the barrel of further weight gain. Unless I do something about it of course…

…Enter accountability. I know myself well enough to know that without accountability I don’t do so well. I’ve shared my current weight with my colleagues, and a friend and now I’m going to share it with you too. Then, my intention is to make the time to check in here and write about my progress. I’m easily discouraged so I hope I can lean on my wonderful readers to provide some support? 

Before I go on to share my current stats, I just want to say, I don’t do ‘diets’. So please don’t be sharing or giving me advice on a soup diet, juice diet or oxygen-only diet! I’m the slow and steady, sensible diet and exercise kinda weight-loss girl. 

I’m 180cm tall (5′ 9″) and weigh 82kg (180 pounds). This is the heaviest I’ve ever been. My initial aim is to lose 5kg or drop a size so I can get into my clothes again. After that, I will reassess my goal and how I feel about myself. 

Im nervous I’m going to drop the ball this term though. As I said, life is hectic and I struggle to make diet and exercise a priority. However I’m excited by the fact that, since I’m starting now, I should be looking fit for the New Zealand summer! 

Greedy – A Memoir

Approximately four years ago we purchased this sweet little goldfish to replace one that had died. My eldest (5/6 at the time), named him Goldlight the Best. We homed him in our tank with our one surviving goldfish (who died recently, but more about that later). 

It quickly became clear that Goldlight the Best was a bit of a bully. He would intimidate his tank-mate, Goldy, and literally chase him away from the food, then gobble it all up himself. Needless to say, he became very fat very fast, so we renamed him Greedy. And I learned to feed the two fish separately – not a sentence I would ever have thought I’d have to write! 

Greedy’s second love after eating, was nibbling on the gravel at the bottom of the tank, sucking a piece into his mouth and then spitting it out. But this one time, I noticed a small bit of gravel stuck…I want to say at the lips, but fish don’t have lips as such, so just at the mouth entrance, I guess. 

I didn’t really know what to do so I kinda waited for a few hours, seeing if the problem would resolve itself. But no, it didn’t and I knew Greedy wouldn’t be able to eat with a piece of gravel stuck in his mouth, so I had to get it out for him. And that was my first Greedy-saving event. If you’ve ever had to catch a fish by hand and carefully retrieve something from its mouth, whilst it’s flapping and slimy in your hand, you’ll know it’s not easy! But I did it and Greedy went back to bullying and eating.

Since then, for years, Greedy and Goldy lived together uneventfully…

Then we went away for a long weekend in November and had a friend feed our pets for us. I left very clear instructions on how little to give the fish (they only eat a tiny amount). However, when I got home, I discovered Goldy dead and floating and Greedy, struggling for survival. There was food EVERYWHERE in the tank. The poor things had been well and truly overfed.

As you can see, they only need about 6-10 of those little round, brown pellets, but received a significant amount more! I know Greedy loves his food, but not that much! He was really struggling and gasping, so I immediately removed him from the water, cleaned out the tank, the filter and the gravel, removed dead Goldy (😢) and rehomed Greedy. He was back to his usual self within 24 hours. Phew.

I purchased some lively, black goldfish to replace Goldy. I wasn’t particularly after black, but there is a shortage of gold goldfish – who knew?! The little black guys are frisky and don’t let Greedy intimidate them at all, which is cool. The kids named them Long Tail and Messi…(?)

They’re little and fast moving so quite a nice addition to the tank. And if you look to the rear right corner, you can see Greedy. He’s struggling for survival once again. This time, I’m not sure what might have happened to lead to his ‘depressed’ state. So I asked my boys, if they had been keeping up feeding the fish since we got back from camping eight days ago, and the answer was a non eye contact, quiet “um, no”. 

Oh God.

I look closer and there is no movement whatsoever. I was pretty sure he was dead as even his gills weren’t moving. I gently tapped the glass next to where he lay and his eye moved – he was alive! I scoop him up and this time there is no flapping, he is completely lifeless in my hand. I plop him in a separate jug of fish tank water and watch him lying at the bottom lifeless, wondering what the heck to do with him this time! My youngest, who is the overseer of the fish feeding, put a couple of pellets of food into the jug. Greedy does nothing. I knew now for sure, he must be on death’s door. So I hand feed my fish…another sentence I never thought I’d be writing! One by one, I put 4 pellets in his mouth.


After spending 20 minutes holding him whilst he eats the 4 pellets I hand fed him, I let go of Greedy and get to work, cleaning the filter and doing a fish tank ‘quarter water change’. I keep an eye on him and he seems a bit perkier but not much.

The jug is pretty small, so I put him back in the tank with the other two and he just sinks to the bottom, dorsel fin still flat and has stayed there motionless since. He seems to be breathing better than before so who knows. Maybe it wasn’t hunger. Maybe he’s just reached old age? Maybe he is pining for Goldy (snort)? Either way, he’s not a happy fish.


You may think I’m nuts, dedicating an entire post to a goldfish or for caring so much, but I do. Poor Greedy.

My chocolate minimum becomes my maximum

Yes, another chocolate post. Sorry. But this is something I really need to work on! After observing my reaction when something is “banished” and going by past experience, (which is to not have any for like 3 nights and then eat 3 night’s worth in one sitting), I decided a moderation approach may be best. 

Here’s what I decided. I will make my minimum chocolate consumption (8 squares), my new maximum. So I cannot have more than 8 squares each night. Less is more, right? In doing this, I am still having chocolate, but I’m undoubtedly having less, because on quite a few nights in the week, I was having more than 8 squares. 

Last night’s treat ^ My cup of decaf coffee and my 8 squares of chocolate. Let’s hope this approach works?! My waistline, teeth and sugar levels could do with less is more!


All chocoholics, please raise your hand

Ok so the subtitle to this blog says something like “a girl wanting to drink more water and less wine”. Now it should have a check mark next to it and also read “a girl wanting to eat more salad and less chocolate”. 

Really? I’m having to impose a ban on chocolate? Yes, it seems that way. I ate my way through 2015 – it was a painful year – but 2016 is gonna be different. And it starts tonight. 

As I sit here typing on my iPad, which is resting on my stomach/chocolate shelf, I am announcing publicly I’m easing off the brown, gooey, caramel centred loveliness that is Whittaker’s. Note I used the word ‘ban’ earlier and already I’m shifting toward an ‘easing off’. 


This is going to get ugly.


A Booze Free Life Is Better

I just commented on a Living Sober post that alcohol will add nothing a family dinner. I feel like I can say that because as some of you know I have been having (albeit very far and few between) wines. And it has added NOTHING.

So why bother at all? Partly because I haven’t found an AF drink I particularly enjoy yet but I will keep trying. And, what side of the fence am I on? Definitely the AF one. I just don’t see what the big fuss around alcohol is about. It doesn’t make things more fun. It didn’t make me more relaxed, in fact it had the opposite affect. Instead of giving me confidence, it actually ended up shredding any I had! Along with dignity, self respect and self love.

To anyone struggling, keep on being AF. Life is SO much better without it!

Moving people out of your life

I know, two posts in one day! But the following really, really resonated with me and I wants to share it with you all.
From Chalene Johnson’s Facebook page:

When people see you getting better and changing and transforming in a positive way, it can feel very threatening for others at times, especially if they aren’t secure in themselves. It’s unfortunate, but people will put you down for something that they wish they were doing. So, my recommendation to you is to just slowly and quietly move them out if your life, and focus on your friendships that support and honor you.

You don’t owe ANYBODY your energy. If you feel someone’s continually robbing you of your energy, carefully and slowly step back, send love their way, and move on. Energy begets energy – and you need happy, positive people on your team around you!

Yes! This is how I am now viewing my narcissistic SIL and our so-called “mutual friends”. I am happy to say I am focusing on nurturing friendships that are good for me.