Day 130 Treats

  
Today I wake up happy, again. This has been going on for the past two or three mornings.

Those of you who know what I’ve been going through the past eight months or so with a family conflict, will know that waking up happy is obviously a turning point. I think the extra time and the enforced slowing down thanks to the school holidays has given me a chance to catch my breath. It has also meant I haven’t had to see “that SIL” every day, and the distance has been lovely. 

As I celebrate 130 days AF I’m fully confident I will never drink again. How can I be so sure? Because I now see it for what it is. Mind-altering, toxin and sugar loaded junk. Yuck. No thanks. I no longer envy others with their glass of wine. I no longer want that sh*t in my body! 

  
To treat myself for this sober achievement, I have purchased three books:

1) The Girl on the Train

2) Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget

3) A Secret Garden (adult colouring book!)

As I anticipate their delivery, I have to say, the biggest treat of all, is seeing the real me come up to the surface. The real me is quite shy, definitely introverted, sometimes serious but definitely witty and up for making life fun. Watching the real me emerge is just so rewarding. I’m so kind, compassionate, loving and patient! I’m becoming the wife and mum I always wanted to be. It was always there, but drowning internally from wine toxins and toxic people I surrounded myself with. 

It’s like wearing an outfit you’re not comfortable wearing but other people like it, so you, the quintessential people pleaser, keep it on. Eventually it wears you down, gets exhausting and burdensome. I’m stripping off other’s expectations and stepping into the real me. 

Now that is my idea of the best sober treat ever.

WG

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6 thoughts on “Day 130 Treats

  1. ainsobriety says:

    Awesome.
    Like you, I have no interest in drinking again for “fun”.
    But I do protect myself from ever using booze as a tool of self destruction or anger.
    I still hold some of those possibilities in me.

    Liked by 2 people

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