Dear Narcissist,

Holy moly. 

I finally did it. 

I told my toxic SIL how I feel.

This is the msg I sent: 

I wish I was strong enough to say this in person. I apologise it being said in a text. I can’t continue with this false relationship whereby at school in front of others you talk to me but there’s no contact outside that. I’m really hurt you think I threw you under the bus with Lynda. It makes me sick that my family is split. And it really hurt you shut me out, refusing playdates, refusing help from me, not asking after Ben before/during his op except only after nic had and once again it was only said in front of others. I don’t understand why you are asking if I’m ok. The way you have been since my dad’s birthday – so cold – has all but broken me. I can’t keep up the pretending. It’s clear through your actions we aren’t friends. This is how I feel. Devastated.

She replied saying that she had taken a step back because she was just upsetting me. Erm yeah, when you send photos of glasses of wine to someone in sobriety with the caption ‘Does this make you thirsty?‘ Yeah, that was upsetting! Telling me I need to apply fake tan because I am so pale? That I should wear this outfit and not that one? That I should wear my hair this way and not that way? 

She suggested we go for a walk to talk about everything, so she could explain. Erm no thanks. You’re a narcissistic bitch, rotten to the core, why the fuck would I want to give you a chance to explain? So you can tell me once again that I have a problem getting on with other women, that it’s because I haven’t had sisters? Tell me once again that I’m going through some sort of change, perhaps it’s my upcoming 40th? So that you can manipulate and twist everything, do a final mind-fuck on me so I walk away questioning everything? No thank you.

My parents were really supportive, no criticism, no judgement. The relief it’s all out in the open is huge. 

I sent a message back to her. ‘Maybe we should have a chat sometime but I’m not in the right frame of mind’. 

Like any ongoing relationship drama I’m sure this is To Be Continued…


5 thoughts on “Dear Narcissist,

  1. HealthyJenn says:

    I think you are smart to say your peace and keep your distance in early sobriety…people who are very manipulative and toxic can really be hard on our emotional stability and ability to cope with the struggles of learning to live alcohol-free. Actually, toxic people are hard to cope with at all…anyway… I know I don’t know your whole situation (it sounds like your SIL is a real chore), but maybe you could try to let go of what she thinks of you?

    Liked by 1 person

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