The more I read other sobriety/recovery/addiction blogs, the more often I come across a few individuals appearing to struggle to remain committed to sobriety. They have Day 1 again and again. I have nothing but admiration for their strength to wake up and decide it is Day 1 again. My heart breaks for them when they write about each “failure”, down on themselves. If only they saw what we see! Someone who has great strength and courage to keep trying! They have commitment but I don’t know if they realise it?
In my past life I was a Life coach. And occasionally I came across a client that would say they wanted X goal, but whenever they got near to achieving X, they would perform some kind of self-sabotaging act. Together we would explore fear because this is most common form of self-sabotage. One client in particular though, wasn’t afraid. Instead, she didn’t believe she had the commitment required to achieve her goal. We explored this further and as it turned out, someone had told her in her formative years she lacked commitment. I won’t go too deep but what happens is, we sometimes choose to believe what others say about our character. We then begin to act in a way that provides us more ‘evidence’ that what they said is true.
In our next session, we explored the things she had done in life that required commitment. She was married, she had a mortgage, she was a mum, she had run her own business for five years and she frequently took part in 5k fun runs. All of which requires commitment, huge commitment!!
So if you’re someone who is or has been told you lack commitment and you think that maybe deep down you believe it, maybe that’s hindering your recovery? Maybe it’s something worth exploring, because I bet you have ‘evidence’ you can and have committed to projects.
As a side note, I do realise addiction goes deeper than an apparent lack of commitment. I believe there are many, many contributing factors to one’s struggle in recovery. Hence its difficulty! I’m just wondering out loud about commitment as just one potentially contributing factor.