The Pink Cloud Has Arrived (but not for me)

The familial issue with the sister-in-law continues to dominate my heart, mind and soul. I’m trying not to be consumed by it but I am getting closer to letting her know how I feel…I need to be a bit stronger first!

Today is day 14 for me. This time two weeks ago I was so blotto I was slurring and squinty eyed. Ugh. I’ve had MASSIVE anxiety levels the past two days. Not cos of the lack of drink but due to my relationship with my sister-in-law turning sour. It changed last year when I first got sober. It was like taking my beer goggles off and seeing the ugly people in my life. She’s always put me down, criticised how I look etc which I had let slide…until I was beer goggle-less. I realised how she actually made me feel. Feelings that I had obviously numbed with wine, previously. So I asked her to please stop talking to me and treating me that way. Which she didn’t like of course. 

Things have been strained a wee bit since then. Last week (she knows I’m sober) she sent me a photo of her full wine glass, with the caption, “does this make you thirsty?” I responded to her saying that “giving up wine is hard” and “please do not send me photos of it with captions like that, it made me feel horrible.” 

My blood is boiling. I’ve kept the relationship civil due to the fact our kids are very close, but since I responded to the photo she’s not talking to me at all now. Which has affected the kids because now they don’t see each other outside school. My nephew broke his leg and she hasn’t kept me in the loop with what’s happening at all…ugh, it’s a mess. 

I’m walking around with a knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I feel so down.

What about this street art though? How is this for a sign?! In my own city, I see the “pink cloud” (definition: The alcoholic has made it through the detox process and starts feeling good again) on the building. 

It’s beautiful. Inspiring. And I want it. I want to feel it. Soon, I’m sure of it.

International street artist Fintan Magee “Chasing the Thin White Cloud”, well, Fintan, they look pink to me! 



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9 thoughts on “The Pink Cloud Has Arrived (but not for me)

  1. Sara says:

    You can’t get closure with your sister-in-law, so please, for your own sake, accept that and move on emotionally. There will be countless relationships in which you find yourself needing to put an end to the gamey behaviour and a hard part of being sober is that we have to learn to walk away from them in our heads when we can’t because they’re family memebers. You can’t reason with her when she’s had a drink and when she’s sobered up and has a hangover she will be ashamed of her behaviour but unable to deal with the consequences. She has a problem with alcohol and the last thing she wants is to be confronted by someone who has recognised it in themselves and taken action to resolve it.

    There will be more people like her who challenge your decision to stop drinking and you will never be at peace with yourself or the wider world until you have found a way to ‘let it go.’ It really doesn’t matter whether you decide to eat a box of chocolates for every time she presses your buttons, take a day by the beach as a reward for not rising to it, or take the kids to the funfair so you can share their joy at the simple things. Whatever system you use, you have to find one because she is going to carry on being a complete PITA until she either drinks herself into oblivion or decides to take control of her own life. It is more than likely to be fthe former, but that’s her choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sobrietychick says:

    Wow! Anyone who does what she did when she knows your sober is a total a$$! I’m a total joker but would never do that to someone. I’m looking forward to the blog you write after you talk to her when you’re ready. 2 weeks is phenomenal! Don’t let anyone tell you any different! You can do it!!! Enjoy your Friday:)

    Like

    • Water Girl NZ says:

      She also was the only one to repeatedly tell me how boring I am without a drink during my first sobriety attempt. She’s definitely a real piece! I don’t know if I can be the bigger person like Anne suggested. She has done so many hurtful things.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. ainsobriety says:

    Anger and resentment are tough. They scare the pink cloud.
    Have you read the book the four agreements? You might find it useful, and it’s short.
    Can I offer advice? Please ignore if you don’t like it! Step back. Accept your sil loves you. And has acted poorly, most likely out of her own personal insecurity.

    I would call her, apologize for the tension, and let her know you are truly trying hard, that being sober is hard and that you appreciate her support and understanding.

    She had no recourse but to be kind and helpful from then on. You have been the bigger person, and ended the discomfort.

    My biggest struggle in life is wanting to be right. As I work on this I see I can often get my way by not forcing my opinion, and everyone ends up satisfied.

    Just some thought.

    Anne

    Like

  4. sobermanpower says:

    “taking the beer googles off and seing the bad people in my life”. So in line with you, now clearly seen some toxic familymember.

    Just a few weeks a head of You in soberness, my solution is currently simply to not deal with this stuff.
    I know your situation includes kids, (mine my mother and brother only).
    I am totally not perfect, and I may end up harming other people some or time will tell. But this soberness is about me (and You) – not the ugly people. Simply put your sobernes first for a while.

    Best of luck your way.

    /soberman

    Like

  5. linda says:

    What an Extraordinary Painting! So very beautiful. In what city is that? Oh, and yeah, your sister-in law sounds like an asshole.

    Like

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